Sometimes I think the most dangerous place for me to be, as an overeater, is not in my favorite Mexican restaurant, or on the State Fair midway amongst the deep-fried Twinkies. Not even in the Braums drive-thru!
I believe that most of the time the most destructive place for me to be is inside my own head, with my own thoughts. Why is it that my own insecurities and doubts can get the better of me? Why do I time and time again succumb to the thoughts of self-loathing, and to a heart that seems to be fighting against itself over what to believe??
2 Corinthians 10:5 tells me this:
"We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ."
I don't know how many times I have read this verse, but am I putting the truth of it into practice in my life? Or is it just another verse that I read every so often and agree with, without putting any kind of effort into making it a reality in my distorted mind? How often do we read scripture and think, "Wow, that's really good.", but then never do anything with it in our hearts to make a change?
Why do I keep swallowing the poison that I am being spoon-fed by the Enemy? God tells me to demolish the thoughts that argue with the Truth of what I know His word tells me and keep my mind pure and my thoughts obedient to Christ. If I know the truth, but still believe the untruths then, sadly, I am living out James 1:23-24:
Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like a man who looks at his face in a mirror 24 and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like.
What good is that doing me? Jeremiah tells me that He has a plan for my spiritual prosperity, a hope and a future for me. What do I do with that?
My new goal is to think on positive, good, and "lovely" things. If a negative thought about myself creeps in, ( not a conviction of sin ) I have to take it to God and ask HIM, "Is this the truth about me?" And if I know Him very well, He will gently lead me to a more peaceful place in my heart, where I know there is no condemnation from Him. He can lead me to that mirror and show me how HE sees me. He doesn't forget what I look like. He may have to take me there quite a few times before I finally get the hang of it. He thinks I'm beautiful and talented and awesome! Why would I believe the Enemy before I would believe the One who made me?
It's like the line from the movie that says, "The bad stuff is easier to believe." ...Or in other words, the LIES are easier to believe. I want the TRUTH to be what is easier to believe. And that only comes from getting to know Him more deeply and intimately.
I choose to trust that my God knows me inside and out, good and bad. fat or thin. He is on this journey with me. I enjoyed some time by myself yesterday on a hiking trail about 30 minutes from my home. It was so nice to just get out into His creation, alone, to marvel at it and just "let the positive pour over me". I used to do the same when we lived near the ocean. Once we drove out to Fire Island when a storm was out at sea. The waves were so huge and powerful, and I just stood there and took in the majesty of the Creator and let it sweep over me.
He has so many positive and beautiful things He wants me to see, even about myself. I just have to practice believing it. Zephaniah 3:17 tells me that He is with me, that He is mighty to save, that He takes great delight in me, that He will quiet me with His love, and that He will rejoice over me with singing. That is a truth, and a thought I choose to take captive!!